Wednesday, December 24, 2008

trivia

Most people feel that the great thing about blogs is that it's an excuse to write about trivia. I don't. My entries are usually 'moments', be it internalized ones or fictitious ones.

Maybe i should attempt.

Today, I bought a cream-coloured cushion for my chair. It looks used in the light, not one of those dirt-defying whites that only exist in showrooms in an Ikea catalogue (Ikea's catalogues are filled with moments, in particular, spectacularly bright mornings, meditative evenings and dreamy candle-lit nights. Somehow, you are filled with hope reading an Ikea catalogue.)

I suppose the dark blue one would probably be more practical, that is, you practically won't need to clean it because you can't see the dirt. But it's only $9.90, so yeah. At any rate, I have completed one of those little chores that I have always meant to do but never got around to do it.

Counts as a quasi moment, I guess.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

just because its christmas

“But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it’s Christmas - And at Christmas, you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you.”
~ Mark, Love Actually

Because you don’t always get or know what or who you want, because sometimes, telling the truth at Christmas or any other time is not the wisest thing to do and because having a wasted heart will only leave you bitter.

Life doesn’t always have a happy ending.

I, of all people, know it too well.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

which is which

All the Christmas shopping that I did and all the watching other people do their shopping, a thought came to mind -

If you know exactly what to get for someone for a gift, does it mean that you know and understand the person very well? Or is it because you couldn’t be bothered to think a little bit more and give him/her a surprise?

And when you fret over what to get and virtually all gift ideas that come to mind are pondered and dismissed, is it because you really don’t know the person at all or is it because he/she means so much that what to give must be thought through extremely carefully?

Monday, December 15, 2008

greed

Of the seven sins, I am definitely guilty of greed - when it comes to reading and books.

I can’t help it. No matter how hard I try to resist, I can’t.

Ever available on my bookshelves are at least three books that I have not read before. Woe is the day that I find myself finishing one and do not have another new book within reach.

My all time favourite hobby is going to the bookstore & the library. Such a nerdy bookworm, I know. I would buy books from Kinokuniya or Borders. But before I could read them, I would have gone to the libary and borrowed more books. And the cycle continues.

I am trying to resist the temptation of buying books - not to save money, but simply because I am running of space to store them. I am also trying to be less greedy and not visit the library unless I really have no books to read anymore.

But…sigh. It looks like it’s going to be a long drawn battle.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

worst wii accident to date

Haha. Bunch of idiots.

jolted beats

Amidst my senseless strokes in the pool, there's a tightening in my chest, and shortness of breath seems to be the order of the day.

When all thoughts seem to be of one thing, and nothing else seems to keep one interested, you tend to conclude that you're too far gone.

Nonchalance can only be feigned when value is mis-assigned; when something is not treasured as it should be. Nonchalance becomes impossible when true value is realised or when that something is taken away.

There's little hope for unskewed thoughts. And it becomes too late for appreciation.

Friday, December 12, 2008

the true spirit of christmas

Is flashy and kitsch. Wonder what the neighbours think.

Friday, December 05, 2008

the fringe benefits of failure, and the importance of imagination

Came across the published speech author JK Rowling gave at Harvard University's 357th Commencement. She chose to speak on the twin themes of failure and imagination, two of the qualities which I feel is intrinsic to living as opposed to merely surviving.

I've never read any of the Harry Potter books before simply due to a lack of interest but I feel anyone who has the ability to write fiction that has captured the minds of millions all over the world is quite amazing.

Below are some of the highlights of her speech. The complete transcript can be found at Harvard Magazine.

On The Benefits of Failure...

"Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.

Given a time machine or a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes."

On The Power of Imagination...

"Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s minds, imagine themselves into other people’s places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.

And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces can lead to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathise may enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing."